And cynical.
Which isn't exactly a good thing but heck. I shall say it out anyway.
Why do you like Chinese New Year?
Is it because of the ang baos?
Is it because of the goodies?
Is it because you get the chance to buy new clothes without your mum breathing down your neck?
Hey, its probably all of the above.
It's the time where people will go about visiting friends' and relatives' houses, wishing them prosperity and good fortune, where the old will be delighted at the prospect of having everyone under one roof, where the young will be ecstatic with some peer company and where the aunties will be busy gossiping in one corner.
Sounds happy and dandy isn't it? Gee, its such a merry picture that you just wanna burst into a shalala song just thinking about it.
But have you thought about the REAL meaning behind Chinese New Year?
For those who are very pantang, and can only see and hear good things during CNY, please fuck off because this is not something you will like. You can come back again 13 days later.
Why do we all visit our grandparents' houses during CNY? Why do we all dress to the nines and act so happy to see each other when you know that some of them can't stand each other because someone slept with someone's wife or something?
Refer to the merry picture I had painted for you just now. It's the picture everyone shows you but somehow nobody ever questions the real meaning behind it, which is rather sad and could make me look like a genius, albeit a cynical one.
Today, on the second day of CNY, I shall show you the cruel truth, uncover the evil scam and lead you to the light.
Why do families visit their parents'/grandparents' houses during CNY?
Sure its about some elder shit they have been preaching to you. In a typical family, its probably hard to get everyone together in a house at the same time. And old people apparently like their family members around them. After all, their children, whom they have slogged all their lives for, get married and move away from them when they get married so CNY is a great time where everyone can gather around the old folks and dance around the banana tree in glee.
It's a tradition apparently and perhaps to some degree, tied to filial piety. And Asians are big on that. This tradition however, has a deeper meaning. In simple words it means:
You people faster take this chance to gather around the old folks, make them happy before they die. Which is pretty soon.
Think about it. For some of us, why is it that we seldom see some of our relatives after the demise of our grandparent(s)? What happened to the tradition then? I, for one, seldom saw my dad's side of the family after his mother died. And a better question yet - if these people are oh-so-filial, why do they only visit the old folks DURING CNY anyway? Do old people not need love and care every other day of the year?
So at the end of the day, is it just a freaking act adults put on? A show for their dying or soon-to-die parents/grandparents to see? Or worse, a one day of fame for some to make an impression on the old folk in hopes that he/she will give them part of his/her inheritance after death?
Why do we gather and make merry during Chinese New Year?
For some of you, the above may not be true. Say, your grandparents have passed away but you still see your extended family without fail each year. Perhaps you people really love each other (how sweet) or I highly suspect someone in the family has the initiative to bring everyone together.
No matter, because it brings us to this point.
Why do we all come together as a FAMILY during Chinese New Year? Seriously, you probably seldom see your relatives anyway, except during CNY, when someone gives birth or when someone dies.
So you really do not know your uncles and aunties THAT well.
But come CNY, everyone comes under one roof and they act like they're your best friends.
"So what are you working as now? Do you like your job? How much is your pay? How is your boyfriend, the long haired one? Oh, broke up ten years ago?!"
These are the common questions. Oh and how can I forget. The ones they keep asking me yesterday.
"Hey, when are you getting married?"
Every year, we answer all these meaningless questions. If you're my good friend, these questions probably mean something to you. If you're a relative whom I meet less than 5 times a year and whom I have no idea which side of the family you're from, I'm sorry but it just seems to me that you're poking your fat nose into something that's none of your business.
Are your relatives really trying to be friendly? Or, is there a darker side to all this?
Of course there is. There always is.
They're trying to compare success. After they vacuum all kinds of information from you, they're gonna whisper to their own kid, "See son, you better study hard or you will be a (insert your job here)
So quit thinking the world is beautiful and you have extended family members who truly care. Because they probably don't. They just need a living example to show THEIR own kids what NOT to be when they grow up.
Or hey, if you're successful and earning a 5 digit figure every month, then your aunties and uncles will be trying to pull strings to get their own children into your company. They will whisper to their own kids, "See son, you better make friends with (insert your name here)
So CNY is not just about being as a FAMILY. It's about networking within the family so you know who to call when you need help and money.
Why do we dress to the nines during CNY?
Why do we need to prettify ourselves during the festive season?
For those who do not know what happens during this season, here's a clue:-
When people visit each other during CNY, all they do is sit down, eat and talk. That's about it.
Which buffles me to no end because if so, why do we need to wear new clothes, deck out like a Christmas tree when the season is long over, and just dress like its our wedding day all over again? If all we do is laze around at someone's house, I think we will be more comfortable in tops and shorts.
Because of the above, I never buy new clothes anymore. It defeats the purpose really, because your relatives are most likely people you see less than 5 times a year anyway and they won't know if those clothes are new or otherwise. Apparently my dad says that new year means a new start which means new clothes but heck, are people really so shallow?
Does wearing new clothes really mean a new start of life? Because if that's the case, then I think you can forget about tying the yellow ribbon round the old oak tree because prisoners sure have it much easier when they are released.
But that's just me being anal of course. Sure, buy new clothes and flaunt them all during Chinese New Year. Because its more than just a tradition, its about face, and Chinese are very very sensitive when it comes to face issues.
You think everyone wears pretty clothes and shiny bling bling just because its the new year? Nah, its more than that honey. It's a statement. The prettier your clothes, the shinier your bling, the more well-to-do you are deemed to be amongst your relatives. It doesn't even matter if you give out a miserly $2 ang bao, as long as you are decked out in Armanis from head to toe. Oh, and make sure your shoes cost $500 bucks too, to go with your $500 bucks suit. Doesn't matter that shoes are normally left OUTSIDE of the house and nobody sees them anyway. Except the wise person who's out to snitch them.
And make sure your kids are decked out in their best as well, because there's nothing more pleasurable for relatives than to compare whose child outshine whose, whose kid has a better complexion/figure/height/dress sense/facial features/pubic hair.
I tell you, the situation is more competitive than taking A Levels.
So go on, put on your pretty dresses, plaster on your smiley faces and go kiss some asses this New Year.
Gong Hei Fatt Choy!
0 spanks on my perky butt.:
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