Is ignorance really bliss?
This morning, as I lay in bed curled up with my
The same undying urge that was within me almost 4 years ago when the love of my life appeared before me.
The same undying urge that everyone has been telling me to forget about.
The same undying urge that i know I will always have but will probably never know the answer to.
I want to know my dog's past.
People say we should never look back, only forward. Only then can we make progress. But it is our past which makes us who we are today. It is our past which influence our decisions made in the future. Our past gives meaning to self. Our past is part of our form.
How is Alex like during puppyhood?
Who is/are his family/families?
How did Alex came into their lives?
How was he treated?
Was he loved by them?
Did they love him?
What exactly did this dog go through?
How old is he exactly?
Did they really abandon him?
If yes, why?
If no, why didn't anyone claim him back?
I have so many questions and I'm afraid they will all go unanswered.
When there is a will, there is a way. So why didn't I try to seek out the answers myself?
Because I am afraid.
Much as I want to know the answers to my questions, I am afraid that I might lose him in the process.
I am afraid that if I ever manage to find his ex-owners, they would want him back. That they will tell me that he wasn't abandoned, only lost. And that they are his rightful owners from the start.
Or maybe Alex might decide that he wants to stay with them after all.
I don't know. How do you fight this case in the first place?
Friends have told me to drop the idea.
"So what if you know?" they ask. "Does it make a difference? What matters is that he is happy now."
Does it matter if the jigsaw puzzle is missing a few pieces, since I love him all the same? It may not be complete but it's beautiful nevertheless.
No it doesn't matter, I guess.
But there are times where I can't help wondering what the puzzle will look like as a complete whole.
0 spanks on my perky butt.:
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