What Talking You?!

I thought I had handled almost all kinds of ridiculously funny/obscenely unreasonable/blatently brainless requests from customers already.

I was dead fucking wrong.

For today, I received a telephone call from the undisputed King Of It All.

Caller: I heard booking prices will increase soon, so if I book today, it will be cheaper right?

Me: Yup. (let me guess, its a Singaporean!)

Caller: (anxiously in bid to save a few pathetic moolahs) Ok I would like to book for an event but can I give you an open date instead?

Me: (???????) Erm, what do you mean by an open date?

Caller: Means I'll book for a day in the month of November but I can't give you the exact date yet. I'll let you know the date of my booking when the time comes.

Me: (?!?!?!?!?!) I'm sorry but you can't do that. When you do your booking, you gotta let me know exactly the date you want it so I can process accordingly.

Caller: (exasperated) Yes I know but you see, this event is to celebrate my baby's one month and I cannot confirm the exact date with you because my baby is not even born yet! How am I supposed to give you a date?!

Me: (tries not to bang head on table) I won't be able to do an open date booking for you if you cannot confirm a specific date. What happens if you suddenly decide, say on 25 November and it so happens that someone else has booked? Its not fair right?

Caller: (sounding a bit pissed off) Yea, but how am I supposed to give you a date when my baby is not born yet?

Me: (in Wise Man manner while nodding head solemnly) Maybe you should wait until AFTER your baby is born before you book the room. Perhaps then, it will make more sense.

Gee, that must be the wisest advice I ever gave to someone in all my 23 years. (-roll eyes-)

Anxious parent, you say? Oh, thats too kind of you cos I think typical cheapskate Singaporean is a more apt description.

I'm as tickled as that fucking Elmo.