Zenified

Cross the junction of Anger and you will reach Destination Zen.

Its a tucked away paradise where you'll no longer feel angry, sad, disappointed because you no longer care.

A utopian world where emotions are freezed and hollow laughter echos everywhere.

A place where I am reaching. Soon.

Have you ever noticed that I am bitching about my work almost nonstop since I started?

Are you thinking that I should leave this hell behind?

Are dreams enough to make me stay?

Can this feeling of financial empowerment overide the daily angst I feel?

The rage against the management and its people. The cries they do not hear, the tears they do not see, the pain they do not feel.

Can't you see I am breaking down inside? Do you not see? Do you not know?

Perhaps we are not merely holding on to a job. We are holding on to our dreams. Be it the dream of wanting a better life for your children. Be it the dream of wanting that oh-so-desirable LV bag. Be it the dream of having a place to call your own, of having the financial means to stay alive and breathe. Or could it be, the dream of having a CC one day.

It is not just a job. It is the embodiment of a dream we strive towards, no matter how the world spits and trample upon us. It bears the emotional entanglement of security that we ARE working towards that dream and that one day, we might make it a reality. This alone comforts us, consoles us and keeps us sane for the next (dreaded) working day.

But at the end of the day, you realise that you are only human. There is only so much shit you can take before you start breaking down inside. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

Perhaps in the midst of working towards that dream, we die inside before we even reach it.

But that's not the scary part.

The horror of death is not death itself but in forgetting what you are dying for.