A Twisted Fairy Tale

Act 1 Scene 1: Prince Charming arrives at the footstep of the dark evil tower where a maiden is said to be kept prisoner by her evil stepmother. He is tired, having slayed prince-eating dragons along the way to come this far. He is horny, having abstained from sex for the past two days. Now, he can't wait to rescue the maiden and marry her. And bed her of course.

"Maiden of darkness
Hear my call
Swing thy flowing hair
Down the wall.
I'll scale all hardships
To be with you.
I offer my heart
Beating and true."

Act 1 Scene 2: The Prince reaches the top of the tower and climbs through the tiny window. All is dark but he can make out the shadow of a lady huddling in a corner. He lights his candle and...

He sees her face
And let out a cry
Oh hark! Oh shit!
His love turns dry

Standing before him
Looming with glee
Is a blardy old witch
As hideous as can be.

"Dammit where's the lady?"
Demanded the Prince
"I've come to save her
Not see you and wince."

"Its only me and no other!"
Cries the ugly witch
"Oh please save me please
Though I look like a bitch."

The Prince almost pukes
His breakfast, lunch, dinner
But if he leaves the ugly witch
He's nothing but a sinner.

What happened to fairy tales
Where pretty girls bloom
All damsels in distress
Awaiting tragedy's gloom.

Act 1 Scene 3: The Prince lan lan decided that since he has come this far, he might as well get the ugly bitch out. The sooner he finishes this, the sooner he can leave in search for some sweet pretty girl lying in a glass coffin, guarded by 7 little men. No more evil towers for him.

A thought struck the Prince
As he scaled down the wall
This time with the ugly witch
As round as a ball

Perhaps just perhaps
Fairy tales do not lie
For beneath that ugly face
Is a beauty worth to die.

As they reached the solid grounds
The Prince gave her a kiss
But instead of a stunning beauty
Is an ugly face now pissed

"Now that you have stolen
My chaste virgin peck
I shall be eternally yours
At your call and beck."

Oh the horror!
The Prince nearly cried
Now he has an ugly wife
His life is so fried.

So on horseback they rode
Down the long winding road
A handsome young prince
With a wife like a toad.

- Mel

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