Its A Dog's Life In Singapore

1) If you have no money to buy a private house in Singapore, don't try to be a canine crusader and keep a medium/large breed in your pigeon hole. Ugly Jack Russells and uglier Shihtzus are ok, no matter how unruly. There is harmony living with a noisy terrier than a bigger built dog, you see. Go figure.

2) Watch your dog's diet. If your dog so much as puts on a little weight and exceeds the weight limit, the authorities are gonna come and lug your dog away. Your dog's prosperous weight is hazardous to the building structure you see. Can't have a a block of flats collapsing because of an overweight Maltese yea?

3) Stunt your dog's growth. If little poochie exceeds height requirements, authorities will also come aknocking. Dogs for apartments should be like the people living in it. Small and noisy.

4) Money barks the loudest in Singapore. So if you have no money to buy a car to ferry your loving pooch around, don't think of getting a dog cos you might get farked for taking cabs. And no, you will also get fined for bringing pets on board public transport. I'm sure you don't want to pay money to get farked left right center.

5) If you are blind and have a guide dog, don't think for a minute Singaporeans are gonna give you leeway. Try going into any eating establishment and you'll just risk getting kicked out with your poor dog in tow. Their license is more important than your growling tummy. If you wanna eat, bring your cane, not your dog. Oh, and don't even think of boarding the bus with your guide dog too. Take the train or take your cane.

6) Dog owners, you'll probably be better off NOT bringing your dogs out at all because there will be Singaporeans who will kick hell of a fuss when your dog pees on the grass. It doesn't matter that their daughters can shit in the void deck and their sons can spit in the lifts. Your dogs just cannot pee or shit, period.

7) You pay licensing authorities and furnish them important details so they can use all these to rat on you in the near future. How wonderful.

8) If you don't license your dog, the authorities will still lug him away. License, unlicensed, too fat, too tall are all perfectly legitimate reasons to take away your dog. So really, you're better off NOT having any. Keep a terrapin if you want. No one really bothers if its licensed or not.

9) Don't pet a dog at an animal shelter. Overtly passionate and holy Singaporeans will accuse poor oh innocent you for dumping the dog there.

10) If you have the money to buy a private house, drive a nice car and the heart to love a dog, your pooch will probably enjoy life much much more elsewhere. Your pet will get to take trains, shop and lay down beside you in a cafe in some other animal loving country, not here in lovely island Singapore. Animals don't pay taxes here you see.