The Ex-Smoker Wannabe

I haven't touched an evil cigarette for about 3 days already!

Quick someone, pat me on the head!

The last stick I puffed was on Sunday ard 6.30pm but that's not really counted cos it was those buey gan blardy Viceroy kinds (ran out of cigs, so "koop" from Cathy, but don't tell her.) Don't know how Cathy can tahan those light cigarettes...I smoke maciam never smoke like that. KNN! No kick at all!

Anyway, I'm so proud of myself for fighting back the urge so far!

I feel healthier... without those nasty nicotine, tar, anti-oxidents and other what nots poisoning my body.

No more sudden chest pains!

I smell great all day!

I FEEL great too!

My hair smells heavenly!

My breath is oh so kissable!

My fingers are lingering with the fragrance of Dove!

I am simply glowing!!!!!!!!

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Ya right.

In actual fact i feel like shit.

I have to drown myself in biscuits and candies these few days while trying to ignore the demonic craves.

It's especially agonising after lunch or dinner and i practically have to strap myself to the chair so i won't dash to the mini mart to end my misery.

Late nights (like now!) are a freaking torture too. The only thing stopping me from running to 7-11 is the sheer fact that they don't carry Texas 5. I had forsaken Marlboro ever since I couldn't get change from a red note. And Pall Mall can't seem to satisfy me anymore, at least not in the way Texas 5 can. And no way am I gonna settle for milder cigs like Limos and Viceroy. One or two sticks of shit like those, i can tolerate. Give me 20 of those and I'd rather puff a box of Camel. At least, its strong.

Luckily, I don't foresee any clubbing sessions in the near future. Alcohol and cigarettes are the perfect match. No contest. There's gonna be a chalet this weekend though so not sure if I can still manage to tahan cold turkey on that day. It's gonna be damn weird - like having a BBQ session without chicken wings. :( Remind me to stock up on my candies on that day or I might bite my tongue in anguish and choke to death on my own blood. Cause of death - nicotine deprivation. Sad case.

I'm not sure how long I can hold out until. The last time I tried to quit, I was successful for about a month. The reason I failed was because I decided to celebrate my little victory by puffing a single stick. And that ruined it all. *knocks head on wall*

Sometimes i wonder how Damien and Joan can just decide to quit and never picked up a single stick ever again. The Whore of course, could not help but give me advice and tips on how to quit based on his (limited) experience. Fucker only smoked for a short stint of 2 years still wanna talk so much cock. Nah bey!

Damien on the other hand is my source of motivation, my quitting idol if you may. We both used to smoke together in our early courtship days and i can still remember clearly the green box of Marlboro menthols peeking out of his shirt pocket. Ahhh... those were the days when Marlboro wasn't so friggin expensive! Anyway I used to joke that the day he quit, would be the day i quit too. We shall both quit together! So blardy romantic right?

And one fine day, Damien told me that he'll be quitting for good. And he did. Just like that. That was more than 2 years ago I think, and I still couldn't keep my promise.

But I'm trying hard. Still.

It may not be today, but one day darling, I will be able to fulfil what i promised years ago. This is my promise to you.