The Facade

Compared to dogs, human beings are so fake.

Dogs have no qualms about displaying their emotions to the world. If they are happy, they show from the vigorous butt-shaking tail wags. When they are sad, their misty eyes say it all. When they are pissed off, they bare their fangs and raise their hackles. When they are scared, they scurry into corners with their little tails sandwiched between their legs.

Basically, canines are such simple and joyful creatures to be with because they never lie about themselves or their feelings. And even if they do try to lie, they really suck at it and it doesn't take a genius to find out straightaway.

Human beings on the other hand, hide many different faces. You never know if the smile has an underlying dagger, out to stab your back when you're not looking. Words have dripping malice, actions are coupled with hidden motives, every single movement a human executes is probably planned to achieve a certain goal, more often than not, a selfish one.

And while there are many situations where a human whips out a phoney mask, a job interview scenerio is probably the place where a human being adorns one of the phoney-est mask in his/her life-time.

Yup, I've been called up (or rather awakened at an ungodly hour of 10:30am, KNN~) by the company again, requesting me to go for a 2nd interview. I don't even know if i should be happy about it but since I've gotten this far, I might as well just finish the goddamn thing. I may be lazy but its not my style to do things half farked.

And so i whisked out my fake mask, complete with a little makeup (i hate makeup) and the decent-est and formal clothes i can find and dragged myself all the way to si bey ulu Eunos. I'd religiously brought my lighter and Texas 5 this time, so that my mind and body can co-operate with me (in healthy lifestyle terms, that's rather ironic, but what the hell).

"Nice to see you again, Mel! I love reading your article about me," the editor said.
I bet. I ain't kidding when i said i have talents.

"Oh, I'm glad you like it," was my reply. And of course, must smile, smile, smile.

"You know, I'd be honest with you. We're down to our last 3-4 finalists..."
Heh. For a minute I thought i was in a beauty peagent.

"Oh...." I said. Smile, smile, smile.

"Tell me, what are the added values that you can give to my mag if you are chosen?"
For starters, your layout can be improved. I don't know what your graphic designer is doing but if my ex art director saw this, he'd probably pull out his pubic hair in horror. Also, I'd like to inject some life into your mag. I don't like the writing style. Too dry.. no humour. Pretty sad case.

"Eh, I'd hope to be able to spice up the mag a little. I've seen the writing styles of most of your writers and I believe it can be improved with more... punch," i offered. Smile, smile, smile.

The editor told me to give him some examples so i quoted the interview segment and said that it can be more interesting... and "spicy". It was a bad move because he misunderstood what i was trying to say and thought that i meant misrepresenting the interviewee. The editor then began rambling on about that's not the ethics of a writer blah blah blah and it was what his previous writer used to do.

Oie oie. I ain't no newbie at this stuff. I know. I've been drilled and trained so you really don't have to repeat what my lecturers have been repeating for 3 years. What i was trying to say was that the interview questions are plain B-O-R-I-N-G and the style of writing is just so... blah. It's just not.... hook-ey, if you know what I mean.

And if your writer used to do it, you should have fired her a long time ago.

But alas, I wasn't sure if i should say all these thoughts to him. He just might kick my little ass out of his office.

So i just did what a meek little innocent girl would do - nod and smile smile smile.

"How would you feel if I told you that the minute you start work, you might have to fly up to KL for some functions... alone?"
You mean i can't bring my friends to party there? Dammit. And why KL? Why not Thailand? Hey I like Thailand! What about Japan? I'm dying to go Japan. I'm kinda sick of Malaysia since i practically grew up there. But well, on the bright side, at least cigarettes are much cheaper in Malaysia.

"Sounds fun!" i chirped and switched on my joyful beam to show him how absolutely delighted i was at the prospect of having an overseas assignment.

"You might have to come in during saturdays though, but i always try to let my staff stick to the standard 44hrs work schedule. Saturdays are really dependant on whether the writer can finish his/her work."
Hey. I've always finished my work on time ok! Back at my ex publishing company where the workload is easily double, I could still submit my articles on the dot. To meet my datelines, I am willing to sacrifice my sleep and play for it, and i'm proud that I've been able to do it so far. I kinda took this statement as an insult to my capabilities, but as usual i just....

"Ok." Smile, smile, smile.

After a few more polite and oh-so-fake exchanges, i was free to go. The discussion lasted no more than 15 minutes, barely a fraction of my total travelling time.

And as I stepped out of his office, i rejoice that I could finally remove the agonising mask, whisk out a pleasure stick (meaning a cig, not a freaking dildo!) and walk like I rule the goddamn world.

I am Mel again.