Generation Gap Or Hardship Gap?

On the train today, i heard an interesting conversation between two older-than-middle-aged aunties. The thing about aunties is that they talk damn loudly so it's impossible to be polite and not hear them, espescially when i didn't bring my cd player out today.

Anyway, Auntie A was bitching to Auntie B in melodious Cantonese about her daughter-in-law and her grand-children. Apparently, she is angry at her grandchildren because theylike to eat guai lo (translation: Westerners) food like hamburgers, red meat etc. The little brats won't eat "Chinese" food like hor fun, rice etc and this makes Auntie A really angry. (I find this really amusing ^.^)

After she was done bitching about her grandchildren, she made her daughter-in-law the target of her little wrath. Auntie A just cannot understand some of the things her daughter-in-law does like throwing away a perfectly working water hose. Auntie A felt that since the hose was in working condition though it's been used for years, it's not justifiable to just throw it away so she dug through the rubbish bin for it.

"Such a wasteful woman," grumbled Auntie A to Auntie B. And she grumbled non-stop about the wastage of her daughter-in-law like how she takes cabs endlessly.

Their conversation was rather thought-provoking. It reminded me of my own parents. You see, both of them grew up in poverty. I've heard stories of how my mum was delighted to recieve hand-me-downs, how she and her siblings had to share a miserable piece of fruit, how my dad had to wake up early in the morning to pluck fruits to sell etc. They were really poor and they really slogged hard to survive. As a result of their hardship, they learnt the true value of money and thriftiness and how humans should appreciate what they have and not waste.

Thus, my sisters and i have been drilled to value money even as children. Although we've been told many times that "money ain't easy to come by," i only learnt the true meaning of the words when i came out to work at 16. But even then, we were pretty sensible when it came to dollars and cents.

Unlike other kids in the past, I never had a fixed pocket allowance. I could take as much as i want and need. But I guess their teachings paid off cos i'm a rather thrifty person. I have more sense than to blow my money on senseless things. Even as a teenager and branded items were the "coolest" thing, i stood my ground and guarded my cashflow. Prada, Chantal Thomas, JPG - i owned none of those. Even when i've started working full-time, i've never let my guard down much, except for the occasional dining and shopping indulgence and of course, pampering my dogs. In fact, i think that's where most of my salary goes to - the stupid dogs.

But that's just me. And perhaps my sisters too. My guess is, there are two extremes for people who have gone through such poverty in the past.

- One would be like my parents - who repeatedly tell us not to waste money and set great examples themselves. Their motto: Think before you buy. Well, that's the rule my mum adheres by, unless she sees something on sale ^.^. And my dad? Ha, he's a classic case. I think i take after him in this aspect - we don't like to spend money on ourselves. Only on those we love and/or our passion. In my case, it's my dogs. In his case, it's his children. He's a miser to himself and we have to force him to buy new clothes and stuff else he'll just use them til they're beyond recognition. And if things are spoilt, we'll just find means and ways to fix them and make do. We're generally a thrifty family, though some of you may think we're niao. ^.^

- The other extreme would be someone who purely indulges his/her children. Their mentality could be something like: "i know the cruelty of poverty and thus, i do not want my children to suffer the same as me." Parents of this extreme give their children anything they want. i don't know... i've friends who take cabs to and fro like nobody's biz, buy stuff without stopping to think for a moment, dines in expensive restaurants everyday, changes hp every 3 mths, change to new cars etc. Their motto: Live life for the moment. You can't bring money down to hell anyway.

Our generation has never been through any poverty and although we've instilled the thrift value in ourselves, we'll probably never really come to appreciate the value of money as much as my parents and those who've really been through it. And perhaps that explains the strains Auntie A and her daughter-in-law is going through.

Morale of the story: Don't stay with your in-laws! ^.^