The Elusiveness of Time

It started off innocently enough.

I got a beautiful bracelet from Xiangyi for my birthday so I thought it went well with my outfit yesterday.

But me being the chor lor klutz that I am, I needed extra help to put on the thin looking trinket lest I snap it with my brute force.

And since Mum was home....

Me: Mummy can help me wear?

Mummy: Yea sure! (looks happy that I am wearing something distinctively feminine instead of my punk rock leather bracelet)

She struggled with the clasp for a while so I joked.

Me: Aiyo, old people with their failing eyesight... tsk tsk.

Mummy: (still trying to clasp the bracelet) It's my arthritic fingers... hurts a lot these days.

And it hit me.

My mum is growing old.

My parents are growing old.

Cocooned in my own little world, where my thoughts and actions never seem to grow beyond that of an 18 year old, I thought my parents were fit as a fiddle in their forties. But a quick calculation in my head while I watched her struggle to clasp the bracelet jolted me to reality. My mum is nearing 60. My dad is nearing 60. And 60 seems like a scary realm to enter into.

And the clock mercilessly ticks away when she finally clasped the bracelet with a triumphant smile and said "It's really pretty!"

I looked at her face, the one she vigilantly cares for every day and night without fail and could barely see the trails of 60. Yet the signs are there, mocking me. The mask of time I had failed to see over the years stood unmasked, naked before me. And it hurts so bad.

This morning I awoke to find the dog wheezing in a corner. I sat beside him, and stroked his head while he struggled to catch his breath. For a full 20 minutes. And I saw it again. Beneath that playful, jumpy exterior, his body was weaker compared to 5 years ago. His tummy is now more sensitive. His sleep deeper. His energy level much lower. It brought back images of Jojo in the hospital and made my heart sunk.

I almost couldn't bear to leave his side, even after he managed to breathe normally again, even as the time ticked on, even as I was running late for work. I don't know what else I will fail to see if I turn my back once more. And most of all, I don't know if he'll be there should I get lost in life's daily grind again.

The things we take for granted.

The people we take for granted.

Time gets the last laugh.