Egg-citing

It all begun today when I was enjoying my bus ride to work.

It is a simple daily bliss for me, to be seated in my own private corner, listening to my Ipod, admiring at the passing world and just generally letting my mind wander.

Until some fucked up kid sat behind me.

And started kicking my seat.

And did not understand the meaning of 'Stop It.'

And kicked lagi harder somemore.

A thought struck there and then. Well, 2 actually.

I think we should carry eggs with us everywhere we go. It's light, its small, and it fits into any ladies' handbag.

Yes, you read it right. EGGS. Chicken eggs actually, because they look cute to me.

Plus, you can eat them!

Scenario 1:

You are having a great time shopping with your friends in the middle of Orchard Road and you're famished. But you're in the middle of a sale dammit, and nobody in their right mind will want to miss any good buys. So instead of defeatedly heading out for a meal to shut your blardy stomach, you reach into your bag, crack an egg, and eat it! Ta da! Hunger solved, you buy cheap stuff, economy saved!

PS: Raw eggs are fab to eat. You probably think they are dangerous and all, but trust me, it's very likely your parents ate them raw too and they are still alive aren't they, you idiot?

Scenario 2:

You are making out in the park, and you're parched. But instead of breaking a potentially romantic moment with your partner to go for a drink, you reach into your bag, crack an egg, and drink it! Ta da! Thirst solved, you get to kiss and smooch, things may escalate from there, and 9 months later, you play a part in solving the aging population!

PS: GOOD raw eggs have no smell at all so it won't affect your breath unlike other food! Happy kissing!

Scenario 3:

You're sitting in a bus, blissfully happy in your own world. The sun is shining, your Ipod is blasting cool music, and you have a seat all by yourself. A kid boards the bus, seats behind you and starts kicking your seat. You turn back politely and request that he stops his blardy nonsense. He ignores you and kicks harder in retaliation. You smile, reach into your bag, take out your egg and smash it in his face. Ta da! You managed to get an irritating kid to stop kicking your seat. All without laying your pretty finger on him. How fucking fantastic! =)


I think I am a genius.

The other thought on my mind was actually a debate on why we should be allowed to carry guns, because then I would have a cool AK to blast the stupid kid's brain away. Not that he has any to begin with.

But that will not solve Scenarios 1 and 2 would it?

Told you I'm a genius.