Baby in a Can

I'm not much of a baby person.

Unlike many females brimming with maternal instincts, I do not coo-coo to babies, and do not mumble baby talk to kids. Generally, I hate the community of little people and can only roll my eyes at the government urging females to give birth because of 'aging population'.

I have a novel way of solving aging population. Erm, ok other than euthanising the unwanted old people. Actually, I am all for the idea of babies being sold in cans in supermarkets. That way, everyone can have one from the infertile to the old and lonely. Just open the can, and pop comes a crying baby!

Mother-in-laws will no longer nag career women to settle down because the availability of kids in supermarkets means you do not need to watch your biological clock anymore. Heck, you can fucking buy one for your mother-in-law to keep her so busy, she'll forget to torture you! And the best part about this is you not only get to keep your gorgeous figure but also when the kids get obnoxious (which they will without a doubt), you can always dump them in the recycle bins or demand for an exchange. Just be careful of the ones that are made in China.

The variety of baby cans in the supermarket will most likely befuddle you. There are fat, non-fat, skimmed, dark, white, sweet, spicy blah blah. The list goes on and the corporation behind this is all set to make you blur and indecisive so you will just BUY BUY BUY.

Many prospective baby buyers are not too hot about local products though. The mentality applies across the board in everything we do. Local/home made = not very impressive. But I have encountered some who have home-made children and surprisingly, they turn out quite well.


Like this one. I wonder what brand of baby can she came out from, because she's gorgeous!


This should be the benchmark of the made in Singapore babies. All others who fall short should be recalled by the supermarkets and destroyed immediately.


Treasure the sweet face... because it wont be long before she turns into a monster!


Now that's a sight you don't see everyday.

Can't wait to strut the streets with an awesome littleling clad in matching Gucci? Make a fashion statement and make a perfect nuisance of yourself with noisy babies and bulky prams. Be trendy, be hip and grab a baby can from your nearest supermarket today!